Us din jab tumnae kaha ki tum ab likh nahi paate ho, tab mae is baat ko poori tarah samajh aur maan dono hi nahi paayi thi. Mujhe laga bas ab likh hi tau paati hun.
Lekin us din tak maine tumhe jadd se kaat ke khud sae nikal nahi fenka tha. Isiliye likh paati thi, vo sab jo tumsae tha.us din ik ik boond khoon, khinch khinch ke nikali thi, tapte aansuon aur gussae ke aalav se, mainae is rishtae sae. sab tehniyaan kaat fenki thi.Aur peechae reh gya hai ik thoonth.ik banjar toonth, jissae shabad aasae dur bhagtae hain, jase anjanae sayoun sae darte, chhuptae firtae nanhe bachae.
Bahut kuch cheena hai tumnae mujsae. Pyar karna tau dur, pyar sambhal pana bhi bas mae nahi hai ab. Sirf ik fareb , kitnae dilaun mae suraakh kar sakta hai..
Kya yeh baanjhpan tumhe choo kar bhi nahi jaega?

lutnae hi vala hai amber, kuch der aur taare tod lo
ugnae vala hai kyari mae fir nanha savera, kuch lamhe beeti raat ke jod lo
kilkariyan marengi kirnaen, aks se sharmaa ke oos muh faeregi
kai baigani aur kuch apni si khwabaun ki pulandiyan, aasmanaun ko furti se seedhiyaan naapnae lagengi
kismataun ka playground set hoga, maylae lagaengae muskurataun aur aahun ke
chundhiyaati rooshni mae ab kosengae konsae sitarun ko?
aaj suraj jaroor aayega tumhari khidki mae jhaanknae
takiyae pe pichli raat ki barsaat se khilae indradhanush ko sajanae
har rang ik sapna sach hoga, har rang tummae tumsa ho jaega
27 baras ke sab rukae lamhon ko nae navelae apnaun ke chaehraun vali ungliyan kalai se aaj utar jhatak hi dengi
ik thanda sa jhonkaa aayenga kuch fusfusanae, kaanaun mae
oonghtae rishtaun ki silan se , ik ik lapeta dhaaga tum aaj kor khinch ke vapis bin lena
khili dhoop hai palkon mae tau lage haath , sab sapnae, chhaan sukhaa ke samaet lena
zindgi se do lamhaat gale mil lena, bahut dinaun se usae bhi tumhara intezar hai.
Janamdin mubarak ho .

Kitni baatein karti hun roj tumsae, pr ik baat poochna roj hi bhool jaati hun
Aadat hi si hai bhoolnae ki.
Sab ajeeb aadataun si ye bhi ajeeb hai
Sab bhool jaata hai, par dimag pe abhi bhi kahin chaapa tumhara number nahi dhultaa
Aur kuch nahi tau shayad ye tumnae pyar ki syaahi se likha hoga
Yaahan baarsat bhi har aaye din hoti hai
Par kuj sookhi si hain ye barssatein bhi… kuj nahi dho paati
Us din Pune ki sadkaun se, utartae hi, tumhari us constipated baarish ne baahaun mae bhar liya
Ik pal ko laga, tumhae mae aaj bhi yaad hun shayad kahin
Doosrae hi pal, kisi ko kaan pae phone lagaye suna
“Please don’t ever stop talking to me. I cant live without talking to you”
Laga jasae fitrat hi si ho is miiti ki ye, har kisi mae khookhli si haar jaati hai
Nakli baemayenae se shabd, har juban pae meethae sae chadae hain
Missal chaiye tau 5 mahinae baad jaakae tumhare paatae pe mil aaye
Shayad us sheher mae kuj baaki tha tumhara
Shayad niyati usi se milanae lae gaai thi
Bahana preet ka hi tha is baar bhi, lakir phir gayi thi bas rishtaun ki timelimit par bas
Aur kuj ye rishte hain,jo anaath bachaun se,umeed se ulat baat hi jottae rehtae hain
Jaanae kis khaalish se bharkar jeetae hain ye
Jaanae kyun inkae maa baap inhe paet mae hi maar nahi dete
Shayad us duniya me bhi abortion legal nahi hain
Bas yunhi ik chaand ki raat, steering wheel pae baithae bahar uchaal dete hain

Mysore days and forenoons..

Har mitti apna rang, apni sugandh liye, zootaun se paaun mae aur paaun se, rooh mae ghhus jaati hai
yeh nahi ki yahan ki mitti bheeni nahi..
ye bhi nahi ki ujlaae rangbirangae khabaun se saje nahi..
par koi badal yahan, sar pe pal bhar bhi chhaaun nahi de paata..
har teesrae din barsaat hoti hai, par ik bhi bauchhaar bhhegi yaadaen aankhaun ki dayodhi kheench laa nahi pati.
ik ajeeb sunapan hai yahan... 8.30 se 5.30 ka khael sueeiyon ki chaal nahi chalta..
yahan din kuch tanae tanae se, khinchae rookhae se rehtaen hain.. beet-tae hi nahi.
independent single room ke sannate, damghotu privacy se lade tangae rehtae hain.
sirf mess mae chehrae aankhaun pe sajtae hai aur fir kisi 2- sec ki , "issued in public intrest" si warning se gayab ho jaatae hain.
itni khoobsurti ke beech bhi, shabd andekhe andheroun mae gote khaatae rehtae hain.
har kisi ko independence chahiye, unmukt hone ko, udnae ko, par failane ko
par mol poocheyae ussae, jiski maa shaam ki chai pe, usae din bhar ke kissae sunnane ko taras jaati hai
15 min ki bandhi bandhai phone call se dil behlati hai, ki chalo vo thhek tau hai..
yahan raat nahi hoti, kyunki log raat bhar kam karte hain.
taareekh ke do hi maaenae hain.. "day" aur "forenoon"
afternoon kuch bhaata nahi yaahan ke budhijeeviyoun ko
sabko jald se jald thesis jamaa kar, yahan se nikalna hai
koi banjar sa sookha padav ho jase ki, bas carrier ki gaadi ko P.hD ka darjaa milae tau fir se jindagi kinare lage.
shayad yahan ki mitti hi aaesi hai...
shayad kisi din yeh mitti meri rooh bhi chunae..
fir shayad kisi forenoon, Mysore bhi, kuch ghar sa lage..

For thee..The Zahir

When the perched luminous blinds
and the lofty dreams begin to
sink back to the slumber..
ascends when the crepuscle again..
with the dour rising to d reign again
lustrous arise thee tittling the sullen
thee whom adorns the gracility of scintilla
who's consummate and effulgent as the maker Himself
Thee who art love
thee who art my Zahir
and I live on... thine,yet another while

Je mae hundi hanju tere,chup chupitae dil de gam galandi te bullan te aake sukh jandi.
Je hundi mathae di tarared, sochaan kai, palan vich langah jandi.
Je mae hundi mitti tere pairan thallae, mae mathae apnae tenu taj kar lendi.
Haan par ik aurat hi.. phari aakhan naal vi kadi sajjan nu akh phar na pa paavaan..
naseeb diyan tareredayen nu, kisi vi dua dava nal plaastar na paavaan..
Kisi tarah karke meinu ik sooti tar banadeyo..
Mae sajjan tan lipat, khusbhu usdi nu roam roam bithavaan..
rangat usdi paa javan te mae harsha harsha sajjan di ho jaavaan!

An orison

LOVE.....It arises from The Fountain,
to fall at thy feet,
thine is the glory,
for thine is the heart that leads the soul at thy alter
Thou art the grace, which illuminates the eye.
Thoust be the sunshine that blankets all that is vulnerable in me,
Thou art the ource for the zenith..
stoop low in thy service, with humble order which.
Thou art Love, thou art the worship..
Thee being HIM in me.

Relationship status: Committed

Ye committed hona bhi aajkal ajeeb qayamat sa hai..
har koi sawali nighaun se poochta firta hai..
"committed? tum? acha.. bataya nahi tumnae? vase kab hua ye? kissae? ... kyun?"
bhala rishtae kya kitabaun, mitti,khusbu aur yaadaun se nahi hote kya?
tau commitment en rishtaun se kyun nahi ho sakti?
sirf pyaar baantnae ke rishtae hi tau rishitaun mae nahi ginae jaate...
fir vo kya hote hain jinke bare mae lab kehtae hain " i am not sure"?
saathi sirf vo nahi , jo humkadam hai
saathi vo hi hai jo saayae mae chupta jaa raha hai.
saathi vo bhi hai jo takhti pe naya naam laga, khali seenae mae pathar se ghadhae dil ki dharkan suna raha hai.
nae rishtae oos ki boondaun sae, raat bhar ki pyaasi ghass ko amrit de rahe hain..
purane rishtae jadaun mae muh chupanae bhi lag pade hain...
suraj bhi ubasi leta sa aadtan hi jase phir ugg aaya hai,
commitment hai uski bhi shayad dharti se koi purani..
miltae nahi kabhi, par roz nazaren churakar ik doosrae ko dekhtae hain...din bhar...shayad hamari tumhari tarahen hi commitment hi nibhate hain koi.

An obituary..to the month...

lamhae dinaun mae,aur din mahinae mae badal gae fir aaj.
dard utha kai bar is beech,par har bar nazarandaz hua.
yaad bhi tarsi bahut baar, aur fir vo bhi thak haar kar muh faer kaer, ik konae mae jaa baith gai.
umeed nae, sar utha ke jhanknae ki koshish ki, beech mae bar bar.usae bhi dutkaar diya.
kitni hi bar ungilyaun ko zabardasti kheench ke layi speed dial no. 2 se.
kitni bar hastee kheltee, kuch aakhri yaadaun ke un peelae baksaun ko,inbox se bhi baeghar karnae ki vaehshi khawhish ko roka.
aankh ki kokh mae hazaraun aansuon ko, apnae un teenaun ajanmae bachaun ki tarah hi mar diya.
ek ek sapnae ke sinae mae, apnae haataun sae sach ka khanzar khopa,
fir ek ek ke ristae ghaav paunchh, unhae saaf kafan pehnayae.
kuch ko tau mitti de aayi hun,kuch ki sadti laashen,sawali thandi aankhaun se muh takti hain mera.
ek mahina ho aaya hai.
thak gayi hun mae.
ab na himmat juta pati hun , na unke liye khamosh jawab.
kaash ke laashen bhi khud hi jal paati.
galnae lagi hai ye, sochti hun kahin viran mae feaenk aaun,inhae lae ja kar.
shayad koi, inkae cheethdaun se hi paet bhar lae.
phir sochti hun ki kahin tumhari bhabhi ki vo pheonix vali baat sach hi na ho jaaye...
kahin ye fir se jinda na ho jayen...
tumhi batao.. kase marun inhe? kase khatam karun?
par tumsae bhi kya poochun?
tumnae tau bas apnae hissae ki mutthi bhar,
uchhal di thi usi raat lake ke barfilae paani mae.
nanhi jaanae, uspar thi hi bhi vo ginti kae do char palon ki hi..
kahan seh payin hongi us kaali thanadi raat ko
shayad taaerti mili ho laashen kisi ko paaniun pae.
ek mahina ho gaya hai... ab tau aadat bhi honae lagi hai tumhare bagair jeenae ki.
saansaun ko na chalnae ki..

जूं

यादें भी जूं सी होती हैं
कल तक जब रोजाना बनती टूटती थी , तब् तक दर्द महसूस नही होता था
अब रोज़ टुकडों टुकडों मे पुरानी रीसाईकील होकर मीलती है , तो कीलों सी घुप्ती हैं
लहू रिसते ज्ख्म और लगातार इक पराया एहसास.. नोचता, खाता कम्प्कम्पता एहसास
ख़ुद को वापीस पाने का जूनून या सिर्फ़ थरथराती यादों को नीकाल , फेंक देने की वो वेह्शी चाहत
क्यों सोचकर बसेरा नही बनाती जूं भी
क्या यादों के लीये भी कीसी स्टोर मे "मेडीकर" बीक्ता है?
या इन्हे भी कीसी और से ही निकाल्वाना या ये भी सपनों की तरह ख़ुद ही म्र जाती हैं?

आंखें तो अभी भी खाली हैं , हालांकी दील लगातार भरता जाता है।
भीड़ मे हाथ छूट जाना कोई बड़ी बात नही।
साथ का क्या है..अगले मौड़ पे फीर बस स्टॉप है।
आखीर समान कीस कीस यात्री की जीम्मेवारी ले अब?

मौड़ आया इक छोटा सा।
हमसफ़र थे हमसाया नही।
जब तक समजे की तनहा ही हैं , सीने से लगकर भी,
वो स्लीव को मौड़, उसमे वक़्त फेंक चुके थे।
क्रीज बिथाई तो थी, पर अरमान कुछ बाहर झांकते से लग रहे थे।
मेरी दूर की नज़र कमजोर है ..शायद आने वाले कल के पल ही पालना झूलते हों...
इक डिबिया यादों की सील करके,तक्रारौं की टेप से,उछाल दी थी आसुऔ की नदी।
जल्द ही पर वो नदी भी सूख गई..उस् डिब्बी को जाने कोन्सी मिटटी मीली।
कीसी संदुकची मे सुर्खी मीले, अगर तुम्हे कोई पुरानी सीलन भरे मुर्दा सपनों की कभी,
तो उसे इक बूँद आंसू की आखरी सौगात दे, मीठी नींद सुला देना।

मौड़

और फीर आ ही पहुँछा मौड़।
शुक्र खुदा का,की यहाँ तक तो हमसफ़र थे।
नामालूम फिर कभी ढलते सूरज से लंबी होती परछाइयां तुम्हारी,आ ही गीरें मेरी राह।
जलते जलते, कहीं कोई चींगारी छुटे जैसे,
वैसे ही भीगे आलाव की तपीश सी सजईं हैं तुम्हारी यादें।
इन रास्तों पे राख भी ज्यादा देर मिट्टी नही पकड़ती,
आंखों मे लेकीन चली जाए, उलटी हवा से, तो बहुत देर तक जलन रहती है।
इस ओर कभी चले आओ तो, धूप के चश्मे पहने रहना।

Sardi ki lambi raat mae, jalti hai jaisae geeli lakdiyaan,
dheerae dheerae aankhaun ko bhigoti..
dhuhndlae dinaun ki ginti ki chaal ko dheerae sae bdahthi si,
chali aa giri, meri raah parchaiyaan.
parchaiyaan aachi bhi hain is mamlae mae insaanaun sae..
Na chehra, na mukhota...koi bhi rang roop saja lo!
kuch bhi bol khehel va lo!
na koi jhoothi aas, na koi adhuri pyaas.
suraj ke saath har raat mit, roz subah khilti nayi talash.
purani bhoor ki rakh se paida hota ik naya phiglta qawas

Ik bheeni nai khushbu se mehakti ,
hamesha sae thoda jyada gehrae rang ka kajal bhari aankhaun mae samaaye
rooshniyaun ke khel se, jagmagatae aanchal pae khelti, baadlaun ki toliyaun ko puchkaarte
anjaanae abhoojae dard sae aahaein sajaein, aa pahunchi phir reshmi phuhar

Rozaana jiye... rozaana marae, teri yaadaun mae hum

Kuchh gaaun to yaad aate ho.
Gungunaun to yaad aate ho...
Kuch phehnu to yaad aate ho...
Kahin jaaun to yaad aate ho...
Kuchh khone pe yaad aate ho...
Kuchh paun to yaad aate ho...
Rozaana chale yaadon mein teri, zindagi ka safar
Tujhse hai roshan, tujse hai zinda, yeh dil ka sheher

Chafing susurrations ... alien yet belonging

I thought about you today, And for the first time it wasn't about the past, or the lies, it wasn't about he hurt, or the tears, It wasn't about my broken heart or what I used to wish the future would be. It was about the end to all that, and the beginning of nothingness ..

Can't say how I feel, Can't tell if my heart would heal, but I always knew from the start I never really had your heart. So leave me, now before I cry. The pain's too much to say GOODBYE.

aas.. un jaagtae lamhaun ki..

Kya pata vo dono haath aakhir phir chal hi paden?
Shayad fir se ghadi apni chal utha leaur ab mil hi jayen vo dono haath kahinmil kar,
ik lamha tithak kar yaadaun ki pootli tataulaen
kuch pehchana sa ik rishta dhoontaen, milae usmae kuj puraanae pal shayad, tau ik doojae ka haal bhi pooch laen.
ho sakta hai fir se bajti dharkanaun ki shehniyaun mae , mae nazargiyaun ka shoor doob jaye
shayad us kaanch ke ghar mae rehnae vale, ik doosrae ko gale lagane ki himmat juta hi laen.
ho sakta hai, vaqt phir se kalai pe aashiyaan le laut aaye.

safeh palat rahi thi jindgi ki kitab kae...
ki kuj khwab ludak, bahar aa gire.
hatheliyuon mae vo rakhae ,tau fir rekhaunun ki miyaadooon mae fas gae vo..
ulahjtae se, girtae padtae,yaadein ke sehrah mae fas gae vo..
kaun jaal failaa, unko khich laun bahar us udherbuunn se..
kitni hi baar tau rooka tha khud ko..par ungliyun ko bhi alag hi shaunq hain,
in sillae bhighae paanaun pe phirne ka.
shayad vo bhi talashti hain kahin, vo makhmali chuhan beeti si..
shayad aaj bhi fas jana chahti hain un seedhri si ungiyuun ke jaal mae.
bhula nahi jab khali dil, fira nahi jab nazar se bhi,tau sparsh tau aatma mae baasa tha..jata bhi kase?
kaasae band karun is pitari ko ab?dhoop lagte hee dekho kasse gulabi ho gae ye.
jase pal yahin tau thehare pade the..
aanchal se jo paunchene baithi..tau kuch purane khwab, uspe bhi chaap chodte chale...
kuj haraee paataun ki , kuj bahahun pe saji sitarun ki ladiun ki..
bandhi thi unpe khusboo, meethi chuhal ki,khamoshi mae dabi khil-khilahatun ki.
kahin se kadamun ki aahat sunai deti hai...
harbadi mae panne sahejti hun,ki kisi ko hawa na lag jae inki..
silan abhi bhi baki hai unmae..
par shyad fir kisi aur din, inke hissae, koi tukda dhoop aaye..
shayad fir kisi din ,mere hissae zindgi aaye.

Hai nahi mere paas doolaton ke jahan,na hai rangeen mehfilon me shamilat ki saada,

jahan oodhe hua reshmi parde kai,gumnam huae dil ke kai khalishan jahan

na hai jam ki jaroorat, ki kuch bhulane aaye hain yahan,

vaqt guzarta nahi saath mae, ki tanha hone voh looogon me aayen hain

hai nahi laboon pe muskurahatain oodhne ki baebasi,

is dar se ki kahin seenae kae toofan,na ho jaain cheharae pe roshan.

hain mere paas to , chandd khavishain aur kuch ik aarman,

kuch meethi yaadain hain, kuch aashkon ki kahanian,

guzre kai zamanon ki jo peechae reh gayi hain ban neeshanian,

ab duniya ki aur kisi daulat ki hasrat bhi nahi,ki jab talakh pehlu me ho tum, hum bane rahainge kainaat me sabse ameer

ab bhi umar guzarne ko, teri yaadaon ka khazana hai,teri vafaaon ke mooti hain,chandi hai teri mohobbatoin ki,

yahi dil ki duniya ki daulat hai,jahan hamse fakir bhi huae hain shahainshah kai

in eternal memory of ..teetu, tunnu and tuutu

Chaand ki aankhon mein jalan si nazar aati hai॥bebak safaedi par kuj surkhi si jami nazar aati hai..kya palkon ke peechae uski bhi koi rista sa khwab hai..ya udahrte rishtaun ki koi faansh hai atki?jhulasta jaata hai par chahkar bhi rauk nahi paata,ye lapaun mae ghira sa taan, kuch apna paraya samaj nahi paatachubhta hai kuch naukdar sa kahin,par dhuaen ke saailab mae kuch saaf saaf pakad nahi aata।boodhee ho chali in aankhon mae sapnae, bhi shayad umardaz ho gayen hain.phichi barsaat ki silan abhi tak dhaau rahen hain.saayon ki dhoop bhi nahi ab padti, ki kuch pal naami hi sukha payen..in adhdhule bikhartae se palon ko kase sambhale chaand ab?is jalan ko kissae seench kar bhujaye chaand ab.

कोई ख्वाब खिडकी से दील की , पर्दे पिघले अरमानों के हटा कर,
कुछ झांकता सा है,
कुछ ढ़ृढ़ता सा है.
कोई इंत्ज़ार है जैसे इसे
पता नही कब हो ये लुक छीप पूरी
कब भरें रंग उजले,खाली ओढ़नी पे, इस ख्वाब की.

बहुत देर तक ज़ुझ्ता रहा चुब्ती सर्द बूंदों से, उस टहनी पे लटके रहने को, उस् पेड का रहने को।
वो पत्ता सोचता था, पेड उसे गिरने नही देगा।
उसने गिरते हुए फिर देखा वो जलजला...
अपने जैसे हजारों... वो सब्कैसब पेड के थे.